Tuesday, July 17, 2012

The Tube: Awkward Encounters

By: Elizabeth

Now I know why comedians are so funny. They must travel the world, or at least get out of their own town and see or experience something different and new. Well, we have seen just about everything, and some things are just plain old funny, others quite shocking.

Awkward Encounter #1:

On Wednesday the 11th, we went to see Billy Elliot. The play ended about 10:30, so we took the Tube back to our flat. We sit down next to each other, and a few stops later this group of about 5 or 6 people in their early 20's get on. Two of them sit down, and they are yapping very loudly. Mind you, most of these people on the tube just want to sleep, not listen to these people until they get off. both of us look in their direction since they were causing such a stir.

Little did we know that the guy was wearing Sunday socks! Hello! It's obviously Wednesday. What makes this more interesting is that BOTH of his socks said 'Sunday,' not just one sock. So Crystal tried to take a picture, but as she tried to, the girl who was VERY drunk, mentioned to the guy that his picture was getting taken. He simply said 'I don't care if anyone takes my photo!' Too bad the picture came out blurry. :(

Anyways, about the girl. About 2 minutes after her tribe got on the Tube, she started hacking, like a hairball was about to fire out of her throat. Nasty! Crystal assured me that all she needed was a little attention and everything would be just fine. But she kept complaining on and on; one moment she wanted water, the next she was perfectly fine. Hm. And yes, she was THAT drunk. But there's more! She suddenly wanted to get off at one point in their short journey. Out of the blue, she loudly exclaimed "I need to get off here now!" Then she started to fan herself as if she were about to pass out. Her buddy said something along the lines of "We don't get off here. We get off after the next stop." Then she freaked out again. The poor lady that was sitting across from me though, she looked so exhausted and this situation made her want to smack the girl. Honestly, could that lady shut up for just 10 seconds?!

Awkward Encounter #2:

The day after we got our Oyster Card renewed, we realized that the lady didn't do it right. You see, our Oyster Card is one that we wanted to last for 1 week, for Zones 1, 2, and 3. Zone one being the center of London, and 3 being where our flat is. The lady only renewed it for Zones 1 and 2, so we went to a ticket/assistance booth where this guy helped us. However, this was one creepy encounter...

We get to the booth, and there is this guy standing off to the side, who looked like he hasn't seen a barber or the dentist in a very long time. Well, he was trying to be helpful, but was not understanding of our situation that we were in. Somehow, he thought that we needed a full refund for the Oyster Cards, then he mentioned many other things, but I didn't listen to any of it. He was coming off very strongly as a creep. He reeked of alcohol and cigarettes, and his voice was very deep, which just didn't suit him whatsoever. So while the guy in the ticket booth was helping us add Zone 3 to our Card, he kept saying things that were clearly irrelevant. We didn't listen at all because we were trying to ignore him, but he would just keep creeping and inching forward. Crystal was wearing a shirt that only covered her shoulders and he touched her arm a couple of times... I just wanted to shout "CREEP! Leave us alone!" But we would have caused a scene just like the lady on the Tube...

Awkward Encounter #3:

Today we were on the Tube, and needed to go from the Southern end of London to Highgate, where the flat is. It would take at least 30 minutes all together, and near the end, I hear this guy shout to an elderly lady "A seat's a seat! Just sit down already!" Apparently, this guy who appeared to be around 50 years old (with a near jet black pony tail) would not give up his seat. He was however sitting in the priority seat for people with disabilities or people who are pregnant. He did not give up his seat. Someone did finally give up their seat without hesitation, and when she sat down she scolded him out, saying "You are very rude." He responded "I can be sometimes." I wanted to smack him. He could have at least apologized to her, but no. Made himself look like a moron in front of everyone aboard the Tube.

You see, you will come across 2 different types of people in London. Those who are very nice and helpful and joke around, then those who do not wish to ever speak to you and are quite rude. 

Windsor Castle, Oxford, Stonehenge, Buckingham Palace Sighting of the Brass Band, the Queen's Mews, the Queen's Gallery and Smart Casual Golfing!

So for our sightseeing...
Yesterday was a sightseeing professional tour, which Elizabeth and I almost missed. I miscalculated the proper time to leave the flat and time on the tube and we got to the tour bus at 10:29 just as it was getting ready to depart at 10:30!
I have never been too fond of professional group tours, I like to explore at my own pace which is slow and lost with some confusion. But we needed some transportation to get to these places as they are quite a bit outside of London.



Windsor Castle was cool, not as intimidating as The Tower of London and the White Tower and without jewels. It did however have a fantastic collection of china tea sets and serving sets. There was also a great photo exhibit of the Queen and her family for her Jubilee. Just imagine having to be polite and have proper manners in public for 60 years! Amazing!
The Queen was home! Her "Royal Standard" flag flew above the highest tower! We were able to tour the State Rooms, but we couldn't take any pictures. If you go you should but their souvenir guides, they have great pictures because someone broke the "no picture" rule, and they have a lot of good information in them. They cost about £5.00 at each national tourist spot, that's $98.76 (plus the exchange rate and the VAT: value added tax) in American money. A good investment!
One of the pictures was so cute, it was of the Queen bending down and scratching one of her lovely Welch Corgis behind the ear, and I realized, Scooby looks at me like that, he must think I am a queen!
The other photo I loved was with Princess Diana and her two young boys, she was holding one and Prince Charles was holding the other. It was difficult to try to explain to Elizabeth how loved Diana was, Elizabeth was only two when Diana died.
The gardens at Windsor were impressive! See below!
We could only see a bit of the castle because we were threatened by our tour guide that he would LEAVE US THERE if we were late. How in God's green earth am I supposed to get back to London, or worse yet to Highgate? There were about 50 other coaches there, I could just slip into one of those...and end up in Bath or Edinburgh!
Oxford was old. Old libraries, old buildings, old history. It didn't thrill me, but it was ok. I didn't see any of Bill Clinton's frats there, but I suppose they may have been shut down after he was done with them. The strangest thing about the town was you had this beautiful historic area, not unlike some of the parts of university campuses in Boston and you turn the corner and it's frigging shop-a-palloza! Shoe stores, clothing stores, Burger King, it's a pedestrian mall of disposable income! Wow.
Stonehenge was cool, but there was no sunset as we have had very little sun. Elizabeth was finally convinced that the stones did weigh 4 tons each once she stood next to them.
Personally I didn't feel any energy vibes or anything. They look much more exotic on Public Television programs with the ethereal music and the deep male voice over about their ancient history. One of the people on the tour, a very funny guy from Sidney, Australia who was traveling with his wife, pointed out one of the aliens to me that had created Stonehenge. Unfortunately it was just a very nice security guard with a neon yellow outfit on. The stones are guarded 24 hours a day. He said people are always creeping up in the dark to hug the stones, touch them, etc. We weren't allowed to touch them, and I was concerned my flash might cause damage, but they said the flash was ok. Funny rules.
Today we couldn't go inside Buckingham Palace because the Queen was there. Since she was at Windsor yesterday she was obviously following us. That's ok with me, she seems nice enough and she loves her dogs and horses so she's cool by me.
On our way to the Palace from the Tube we happened to see the guards who were going to do the Changing Ceremony and the brass band. That was confusing because I thought the beach volleyball court was in their space, and it wasn't, but about 1,000 tourists were pressed up against the steel fence for a peek. We had seen enough of steel fences and soldiers looking at each other so we skipped that and went for the Queen's Leonardo da Vinci art display.
The tour guides at Buckingham, who have no job to do because there are no tours, suggested we come back July 30th when the Queen would be out of town and we could go inside. I said, "Sure, no problem", then made plans to find out where they lived so we could move in with them until the Palace opened up because I can't afford this city past the 23rd when we fly out of here!
Even though we couldn't go inside the Buckingham State rooms we saw an incredible, unique display of art, by Leonardo da Vinci himself, his anatomical research drawings. They were remarkable in detail and accuracy.
I was unable to read his right to left and mirrored handwriting, as I do not read Italian well enough. I'm fine with right to left and mirrored handwriting. I'm left handed (like my old pal Leo) so I'm cool like that.
Leonardo drew one image of the theory of the brain processes that was popular in his time. The drawing is of a man's head and inside there are three relatively small circles in it, linked in a line. The first circle, or area, of the brain was where all of the senses took in information. The second circle was to understand those senses and provide control of them, then the third portion was the memory area of the brain.
Surprisingly all of this brain matter used up less than 1/4 of the space in the man's head. And then I realized this type of brain was one I knew well. I had dated men with these three circles/areas. I was already familiar with this theory, and surprisingly enough it does exist!
I found it fascinating yet Elizabeth a kind of blank stare. Was this boring her? So I hurried a bit to make it less tortuous for her and off we went to the Queen's mews, or working stables, down the street.
We joined a guided tour after we went though a bag x-ray and a metal detector. They wasn't to make sure you have no intentions of sneaking in equipment you might use to re-shoe the horses.
The Mews have almost 200 staff. Many of them live there in apartments and have their meals cooked for them. Before Christmas there is a sleigh specifically for the arrival of Santa and the Queen to the Mews and Santa hands out gifts to the children of the employees of the Mews. I want one of those jobs! ! !
We saw several Royal Coaches for different occasions. Some of the uses of the Coaches are: Royal weddings, the Opening of Parliament, bringing Ambassadors to see the Queen, and for the Queen's Golden Jubilee (she choose not to ride in her Gold State Coach for her Diamond Jubilee this year, it isn't very comfortable).
One of the State Coaches has electric windows, heating and A/C as well as a hydraulic suspension system. That one has a big ole' battery in it! 
Then there were two horses to meet, ask the rest are on summer vacation at Hampton Court Palace, our destination for tomorrow, so we may see them there! The two horses left at Buckingham are a little sick and are being cared for. One is an Irish Windsor Gray who has a leg injury who is close to retirement. The Gray was being pestered by his neighbor a naughty, playful Cleveland Bay. The Bay has a skin problem he is being treated for. They didn't pose well for pictures, but I'd be down in the dumps if I were in a stall in London while my buddies were off playing in King Henry VIII's fields sewing wild oats!
And then golfing. We went south of the city so Elizabeth could golf in England. She played 9 holes while I watched and asked questions and kept score. I may have felt a little like she did about the Leonardo da Vinci exhibition, but I think I covered ok. It was nice out, not raining anyway.
Tomorrow Hampton Court Palace!

Wait for the Green Man

Culture notes...by Crystal
England created New England. New England inherited many things from our Mother Country: hot dogs and beans on Saturdays, many names of our towns and cities are rip-offs of those in Great Britain, similar food to ours, a love of sweets...the list goes on. A couple of the most dangerous things we have in common with the English are our scary driving habits and our tendency to run pedestrians down on the street!
If you come to Great Britain and you are a pedestrian expect your heart to stop on a regular basis. Just watching the traffic is the stuff nightmares are made of. Here motorcycles consistently zoom down the middle of the road (on our double yellow line) between two lanes of traffic. It can't be legal, but it happens all of the time. There is no room for error, there are no shoulders on the roads so a car cannot veer off to the side to avoid an accident, like a head on accident with a motorcyclist.
Turning left? Turning right? Well the Brits like the element of surprise because they will either turn their signal on at the very last moment or not all all! Surprise!
Then there are the bicycles...not only do about 90% of the population not find helmets necessary, the cyclists are constantly braking all rules of the road. They also seem to have a mission in life to run down people walking across the street when they have permission from the "Green Man". The "Green Man" is the symbol that you, as the vulnerable pedestrian, have the right to cross the road with a reasonable guarantee of safety. Nope! Here comes a bike through a red light! That was close!
And if you are just at the end of the "Green Man" symbol, you better book it! The cars and motorcycles start to rev their engines as you attempt to reach the safety of the curb!  Yikes! I think my heels were almost taken off earlier today. Does anyone know if a motorcyclist hits a pedestrian does the motorcyclist get thrown from the bike? Well, I hope so, because I'm taking that sucker down with me!

Pedestrians in mortal peril even though the Green Man is visible.

Thank the Queen for free healthcare in a first world country! God save the Queen, and God save me from these aggressive, impulsive and all around horrific drivers!

Sunday, July 15, 2012