More notes on culture from Crystal
My first exposure to the British culture was through New Hampshire Public Television. The television show that made the biggest impression and forever skewed my perception of the British people as a whole was the sit-com Fawlty Towers.
My first exposure to the British culture was through New Hampshire Public Television. The television show that made the biggest impression and forever skewed my perception of the British people as a whole was the sit-com Fawlty Towers.
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| Manuel, the frequently physically and emotionally abused Spanish man on the famous British sit-com Fawlty Towers |
The sit-com only ran for 12 episodes in the late 1970's, and I can't understand why. It was incredibly popular and starred the mad man British comedian/actor John Cleese in his prime. I'm not sure which was funnier, the abuse he attempted to bestow upon his wife (but really she had him by the "short hairs" consistently) or the nastiness he dispensed to his Spanish porter Manuel. Fortunately you can stream the show from Netflix and then you can come up with your own assumptions about the social culture of that time. You might think, "It's totally whacked to create an opinion about all British people based on a sit-com about a lunatic hotel owner and his bad luck", and you may be right, but I have to say I wish I had kept those delusions instead of discovering the crule reality of British Civilization and manners.
First let me say that Elizabeth and I have met many, many helpful and friendly people here. The ones I have found the most helpful have been at the bar, and no, I haven't been spending all of my time at the bars! I have a 16 year-old niece to entertain! We are walking our legs off!
Let me give you some examples of the strange and uncivilized individuals who spawned our little US of A:
The Tower of London - it was built on top of Roman ruins almost 2,000 years ago. That's pretty awesome! But some crazy stuff went on in there. They had a lot of prisoners and some of them they tortured and a few of them they killed. It wasn't a lot of people who were killed, but it was pretty nasty. And some of them were Henry VIII's wives. I admire Henry VII for his search of the perfect partner. He was an optimist, if the third or fourth one didn't work out, just try again! That's determination!
In the Tower gift shop there are several souvenirs you can take home to remind you of Henry VIII epic search for his true queen - the one who would have his male child for the throne.
We went on a bus tour of the city today and about half of the tour was of war memorials. Memorials of memorials and then a memorial of the people who were at memorials. And wars I vaguely remember from world history class. I am hard pressed to think of any country that was not in a war with England when I reference all of these memorials. They had war memorials of the countries they dominated. Is that a slap in the face? For example there are war memorials for New Zealand and Australia - ok, take over, send your criminals there and then memorialize the fact that you took over and killed a lot of people. Some of the memorials were very creative - a memorial for the women who served and supported in WWII, and one for the animals who served in various wars - including horses, dogs and more exotic animals such as camels and lamas. The Brits have been everywhere, and I do remember that from world history.
I started to become critical about all of this war talk and I realized the only reason the US hasn't been in as many wars is because we haven't been around as long. When you've been around since 100+ B.C. you get into a lot of trouble and fight with a lot of people. That's a lot of time for a lot of conquering.
In the Tower gift shop there are several souvenirs you can take home to remind you of Henry VIII epic search for his true queen - the one who would have his male child for the throne.
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| Celebrate the Christmas season by trimming your holiday tree in good taste with King Henry VIII and his six wives in the form of ornaments! How civilized! (Very classy souvenirs from the Tower of London gift shop) |
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| Nesting dolls of King Henry VIII and his six wives. A true treat for your tot! Now, how do you explain what happened to the wives to an American child so they would ever want to visit England? (more classy souvenirs from the Tower of London gift shop) |
I started to become critical about all of this war talk and I realized the only reason the US hasn't been in as many wars is because we haven't been around as long. When you've been around since 100+ B.C. you get into a lot of trouble and fight with a lot of people. That's a lot of time for a lot of conquering.
The Tube - fondly called the Underground or the Tube here it is the first underground transport in the world, the oldest, and I have to say parts of it are really showing its age! I think it's safe to say that not ALL of the upgrades will be done in the next 15 days before the Olympics begin. I feel like I am going through menopause when I walk around London and take the tube. Yesterday I was in shorts and a sleeveless shirt and I had to put on my fleece and raincoat about 8 times upon entering and exiting the Tube and when it rained and then shined, but I digress. I grew up thinking of the British as pretty stiff, unemotional people except when alcohol was added then you might get some singing and arms wrapped around friends. I have found that to NOT be true in the Tube. I have never seen more necking, tonsil hockey and open mouthed lust underground, or in public really. Yes, in college frat houses maybe there was more, but in the Tube? Really? I just have to sit there and pretend I understand how these two people could be so attracted to one another they have to display their affections in a train full of tired, worn out people who are just trying to get somewhere as easily as possible. We have ridden the tube countless times and we haven't even been here a week and during almost EVERY RIDE I have had to pretend I was not watching someone paw someone to near death.
What an affectionate bunch the British are, all at my discomfort!
Then the myth that the British are quiet people. Subtle and modest. Nope, that is an urban legend. I have heard the loudest people of my life here, with strong British accents so I think it's safe to say they are British. Loud on their cell phones, loud in cafes, loud on the Tube, just loud. Tonight there was a girl who was so loud on the Tube I couldn't hear what Elizabeth was saying and she was sitting right next to me. The girl was intoxicated and was being loud at the severe embarrassment of her friends, although none of them told her to put a plug in it. Well at least I know what heritage I got my loud mouth from, British all the way!
And some of the clothing - NOT MODEST - a woman who had a long (but not long enough), clinging t-shirt type "dress", and you know it's too short when you have to hold it down with your fingertips while you walk so it won't ride up! One woman in a cocktail dress with a slit in the back that looked like an accidental torn slit in the dress because it was so high and almost revealing her backside. The man with her looked very smug and pleased, and again was very affectionate. I think they left at intermission! Tally ho!
And yes, in the US some people get a tattoo of "mom" on their arm, and here I have seen "mum" as a tattoo!
Some of the Brits I have met require a little prompting, they seem a bit nonreactive. Maybe it is because they have important thoughts going on in their heads that are clever and unusual, but I really have learned that if I would like something I must be direct. For example one man was sitting at an information desk - he was chatting with a co-worker. They had stopped chatting, and foolish me, I expected one of them to look at me and say "Hello, what can I help you with today?" or something of that sort. Instead they both had blank stares and seemed to be looking right past me. It was odd. I felt my belly to make sure I was a solid entity, and the results came back affirmative, yes indeed, I was (and am) a creature of substance. So I have learned to say "Hello" whenever I need something because I never know if they will acknowledge me or not.
English is a second, sometimes a third or fourth language in London. I have learned to interrupt people who are reading newspapers that are in English so I am pretty sure they will be able to respond to my question, or at least understand what I am asking. If I want a real answer I look for a local. I identify locals as usually older men, Caucasian, in a business suit, reading a newspaper written in the English Language, carrying a briefcase and an umbrella. They don't love being interrupted while they are reading their paper, but I can tell they feel very gratified when they have been able to provide me and my lovely niece with the information we need to continue our journey. It is also key to find someone who you think might enunciate their words clearly. I have heard the most mumbled comments in the past several days and I can't tell if it's the accent or my fatigue or just an entirely different language. I have turned into my dear old dad who would just nod and smile when he couldn't hear a damn thing people said to him. I just hope they aren't saying anything that requires a response from me or anything that has to do with what I am about to eat.
The other helpful locals are the subway workers. I met one man who was so lovely, he was of African decent and had dark, dark skin. He had a fantastic British accent (he didn't mumble!), he had a massive smile and he was a tease! And I'll tell you, if you get on the good side of a bus driver, subway employee or a bartender you are on easy street in London!
The driving here completely explains the crazy driving along the entire East Coast of the US. No signals are given, pedestrians are ten pence a dozen so run 'em down, and I mean really. I saw two Japanese girls ignore an oncoming truck whose driver was not used to being ignored and they almost were squashed. It was like an involuntary game of chicken, but it was no game. The girls had no idea they were in mortal peril. I grew a strand gray hair for each one of them.
And it is NOT true that the beer is warm here, it is served cold and it is served fast. Of course any cask conditioned beer is less cold, but that is the way it should be served. And although you don't have to tip the bartenders here (they make a much better wage here than they do in the US, more civilized that way for sure) I did tip the one who called me "Luv" because it was so cute. And no I would not make out with him on the Tube, no matter how many times he called me "Luv". Well, maybe I'd reconsider, it really is very cute...
What an affectionate bunch the British are, all at my discomfort!
Then the myth that the British are quiet people. Subtle and modest. Nope, that is an urban legend. I have heard the loudest people of my life here, with strong British accents so I think it's safe to say they are British. Loud on their cell phones, loud in cafes, loud on the Tube, just loud. Tonight there was a girl who was so loud on the Tube I couldn't hear what Elizabeth was saying and she was sitting right next to me. The girl was intoxicated and was being loud at the severe embarrassment of her friends, although none of them told her to put a plug in it. Well at least I know what heritage I got my loud mouth from, British all the way!
And some of the clothing - NOT MODEST - a woman who had a long (but not long enough), clinging t-shirt type "dress", and you know it's too short when you have to hold it down with your fingertips while you walk so it won't ride up! One woman in a cocktail dress with a slit in the back that looked like an accidental torn slit in the dress because it was so high and almost revealing her backside. The man with her looked very smug and pleased, and again was very affectionate. I think they left at intermission! Tally ho!
And yes, in the US some people get a tattoo of "mom" on their arm, and here I have seen "mum" as a tattoo!
Some of the Brits I have met require a little prompting, they seem a bit nonreactive. Maybe it is because they have important thoughts going on in their heads that are clever and unusual, but I really have learned that if I would like something I must be direct. For example one man was sitting at an information desk - he was chatting with a co-worker. They had stopped chatting, and foolish me, I expected one of them to look at me and say "Hello, what can I help you with today?" or something of that sort. Instead they both had blank stares and seemed to be looking right past me. It was odd. I felt my belly to make sure I was a solid entity, and the results came back affirmative, yes indeed, I was (and am) a creature of substance. So I have learned to say "Hello" whenever I need something because I never know if they will acknowledge me or not.
English is a second, sometimes a third or fourth language in London. I have learned to interrupt people who are reading newspapers that are in English so I am pretty sure they will be able to respond to my question, or at least understand what I am asking. If I want a real answer I look for a local. I identify locals as usually older men, Caucasian, in a business suit, reading a newspaper written in the English Language, carrying a briefcase and an umbrella. They don't love being interrupted while they are reading their paper, but I can tell they feel very gratified when they have been able to provide me and my lovely niece with the information we need to continue our journey. It is also key to find someone who you think might enunciate their words clearly. I have heard the most mumbled comments in the past several days and I can't tell if it's the accent or my fatigue or just an entirely different language. I have turned into my dear old dad who would just nod and smile when he couldn't hear a damn thing people said to him. I just hope they aren't saying anything that requires a response from me or anything that has to do with what I am about to eat.
The other helpful locals are the subway workers. I met one man who was so lovely, he was of African decent and had dark, dark skin. He had a fantastic British accent (he didn't mumble!), he had a massive smile and he was a tease! And I'll tell you, if you get on the good side of a bus driver, subway employee or a bartender you are on easy street in London!
The driving here completely explains the crazy driving along the entire East Coast of the US. No signals are given, pedestrians are ten pence a dozen so run 'em down, and I mean really. I saw two Japanese girls ignore an oncoming truck whose driver was not used to being ignored and they almost were squashed. It was like an involuntary game of chicken, but it was no game. The girls had no idea they were in mortal peril. I grew a strand gray hair for each one of them.
And it is NOT true that the beer is warm here, it is served cold and it is served fast. Of course any cask conditioned beer is less cold, but that is the way it should be served. And although you don't have to tip the bartenders here (they make a much better wage here than they do in the US, more civilized that way for sure) I did tip the one who called me "Luv" because it was so cute. And no I would not make out with him on the Tube, no matter how many times he called me "Luv". Well, maybe I'd reconsider, it really is very cute...
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